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I've thought a lot about this question while reading some of my fellow pessimists posts on Facebook or watching their videos on Youtube. The world is a mess, terrible things happen to good people and there's no way to be truly safe, oh and in the end you die so what was the point of your struggle anyway? Can't argue with that, this is what I believe too. I think myself being in prison. I didn't ask to be born, this world has so many flaws in it I'd prefer to forgo the experience of visiting here altogether, not even for the good times that I've had in my life. But then,- I ask myself,- 'what do I do with this conclusion for the time remaining in this prison cell for me'? Do I want to dwell on it every waking second or would I rather make the best of what this prison has to offer? My being here is pointless, yes, but that also means any additional suffering I allow myself to experience is equally meaningless and helps no one and doesn't make the world a better place and is just as meaningless as someone being happy (or content, because happy is a strong word but I sometimes use it just because it's faster, you know what I mean though) . So when both outcomes are equally devoid of higher, Universal kind of meaning, isn't it better to try to be as happy as possible while you're alive, rather than suffer? I'm not claiming it's always possible, but I get the impression some people almost feel like it's their duty to be gloomy, apathetic and grumpy because 'they've seen the truth'. Maybe they perceive being upbeat and energetic and passionate about something in this prison as loving to be imprisoned. But it's just not true. Just because I try to decorate my prison cell and take books from the library and decide to take up a hobby while I'm doing my time, doesn't mean I am thankful for being locked up. I'm simply trying to not punish myself further, I am innocent, I never deserved the senence and I'm not going to let myself feel any worse than I have to. That's how I see it. You can recognze the depressing facts about life and yet try to focus on the positive just for pulling through. What should be the only rational consequence of you admitting this world is a horrible place is you not sending any new people to do their time in it. That's all, your mission accomplished, you can get back to what brings you joy. It doesn't mean you're trying to fool yourself into accepting and loving life, you can still acknowledge that life is not worth living, that you'll die anyway and be forgotten, but then, why should it stop you from having a little fun today? Why should it stop you from having meaningful relationships with other people, or painting, or writing music, or learning some dance, or travelling places, or volunteering to work in some charity if you like to help people.
But what if you're preoccupied with the fact that all you do is meaningless?
Well, I think we need a meaning most when we are not enjoying our lives in the present. When you're having fun, right at that moment, do you necessarily need it to be purposeful and meaningful? Just laughing, or swimming, or playing a game, or flying or whatever rocks your boat - you're just enjoying the moment. So when your life is filled with enough (for you) pleasant, interesting, exciting, fulfilling stuff it becomes almost pleasant, even if there's no meaning to it all. And of course, when you're suffering, the realization of the pointlessness of it makes that suffering worse.(( Unfortunately, not everybody can bullshit their way into inventing some sort of a higher meaning. But if improving your life to be more to your liking is available to you, then it's definitely worth trying.
Absence of meaning and purpose is definitely horrible when we speak of someone in the state of suffering, unmendable, continuous, crushing pain. Some people in that state still find solace in stoicism or continue living for the sake of their loved ones enduring their lot every day trying to make the best of what they have. I can't give much honest advice to these people. I can only sympathize with them deeply and say that I respect both of the possible choices: whether they decide to keep on going or to end their lives.
But if we're talking people who are not in chronic pain, not in some other unfixable bad situation, having only the prison of their own mind - however real that prison still is - their condition is at least in some cases not hopeless. And all I'm saying is that it's ok to try and seek help should these people decide to stick around in this world. I know it is hard (well, I probably don't know exactly how hard but still grant me some imagination, I've been forcing myself to exercise for like 9 days everyday now and I hate physical exercise! so there!).
A little 'sidenote' on exercise and willpower. I have to confess: I'm only doing 10 minutes workouts daily, and I skipped once, but it has been for like 2 weeks already and for me it worked better than 40 minutes 2 times a week (forget that! i just make up an excuse why i don't have the time) I know this might be too little, but I also know it's better than nothing and when I press myself too much I end up dropping this thing altogether. Sometimes, it's better to allow yourself to be consistently lazy and ineffective in something rather then do a few monumental rips and turn into a couch potato for the rest of the year. It's important to praise yourself for your little achievements. It feels nice and motivates you to continue. Maybe depression should be challenged in the same way? Little steps every day. Every little step is a great result already. By setting smaller goals you're suddenly see the task as manageable and not threatening. I know if I have to exercise for 40 minutes I suddenly feel very weak and heavy, but if I know I only need to do 5 kinds of exercises for 10 minutes, hey, that's not so scary, it's only 10 minutes, I can push myself that far. And for you, it might be just 5 minutes, that's fine, and when you're ready you can make it into 7. Whatever you do is better than nothing, and don't forget to feel a little proud every day for your little achievements. Feeling proud and good about yourself is the fuel that keeps your psychological engine running :)
If you think you feel crushed by the absence of meaning alone, or by other horrible truths about the world, try asking yourself honestly if otherwise your life is what you'd like it to be. If meaning was real, would you enjoy your present life then? Or would you prefer to still change something about it? And if there's something lacking in your life that you could possibly get with some effort, or something unnerving, draining and annoying that you could possibly get rid of - consider doing just that. Even though life is shit, there's no point in trying to make it shittier for yourself, in fact, there's a point in trying to lead a happier life, just because with you being happy there's one more happy person in the world and one less miserable one. And then, being content and at peace with yourself, being confident and full of energy makes you able to help others if you so choose, or at the very least, it makes people around you who care about you happier as well. It doesn't constitute some objective meaning to life but you can feel productive in this short life you have being of use to others in their short meaningless lives. What more can you ask for? We're all insignificant specks in the Universe, but that shouldn't stop us from valuing each of our tragic lives and trying to make a positive difference for one another while we're doing our time here in this prison. I think that's as meaningful as it gets, without bullshit.
Selfish thought that sort of makes life easirt for me as a pessimist who doesn't believe in objective meaning to life. I know others have felt what I feel throughout all human history, and I know people exist who look at the world in a way similar to mine, so I don't need to constantly reach out and talk to someone personally about how life is shitty and unfair and whatnot, although sometimes I do, yes, and thank god for the internet and Facebook (but shame on you, Facebook, for closing down one of my favorite pages filled with sarcastic jokes! the world is a shittier place without that bit of fun, you politically correct loonies!) Ehem.. now where was I? Ah yes, connectedness. Somehow, knowing other people are in the same position as me on this planet makes it a little better (selfishly, but what you gotta do!), and that thought reminds me every time that even though this life problem that is happening to me is unsolvable, and the world is what it is, I can at least do my time on this rock with my 'fellow sufferers' (Schopenhauer's term). And if not all other pessimists are crushed and rendered dysfunctional by the weight of their honest outlook on life, maybe I can also pull through.
Now, on the other hand, if tomorrow I find myself in some horrible circumstance, and will see no chance of it getting much better or significantly better soon enough, I probably won't last long without a meaning, and I can't invent it, I've tried. So in that situation I'll probably be pretty helpless piece of matter devising my ways to stop existing, since my sources of everyday life enjoyment will be limited so I'll have neigher meaning no 'carrot' to pursue by staying alive. I still might not find the courage for a suicide, you never know, that's why life is a prison and not a gift.
But if you do decide you would prefer to live than to commit suicide right away, and you think you're suffering from a lack of meaning, do examine how well you've attended to your 'animalistic', 'earthly', 'shallow', 'selfish' needs. Try searching for comfort, for excitement, for adventure, for peace and relaxation. Why not? It's all meaningless anyway, so why not try and have fun in the game? Take some risks, do something challenging perhaps? There's no greater meaning to computer games, but people play them anyway, because it's fun. Granted, this life of ours does not fare well in comparison to a good computer game, it's much dumber and more difficult, but it also has some rewards to pursue, some fun to offer. Like in a computer game, you can't just stand there and complain that things don't come to you, you have to jump and run and overcome difficulties to get them. So to summarize about the need for meaning, I think when we worry about it, what we're saying is 'my suffering has no meaning' and not 'my fun has no meaning', because fun, pleasure, bliss, joy - they feel meaningful to us already and when we experience enough of those per day/week or know they await us in the observable future, we don't obsess over meaning so much.
Accepting yourself is essential, despite all your faults and failures. If you notice that you're often haunted by negative thoughts about yourself, try figuring this out with a psychotherapist. Without a positive self-esteem you can never enjoy life, with or without meaning. On the contrary, when you wake up feeling that you're an ok person, and don't have to be constantly fighting off bad thoughts (which cause negative emotions and those cause hormonal changes), there's your energy to do stuff.
But see, since many of us grew up with amateur parents , our development did not always go the healthiest way. A person who was often criticized or compared to others keeps doing it to themselves when they grow up. It makes them feel worse than others and that brings their mood down far too often. These same people can sometimes gravitate to pessimistic philosophy and perhaps even think that their feeling so bad is the result of how f*ed up the world is, but again, without denying the world sucks, and that what's going on in it affects us too, our very personal childhood experiences affect us deeper and in a more direct manner. We have to acknowledge that we are selfish beings, we do care how we're doing in the world first and foremost, and only after that, I think, do we get crushed by the weight of all that 'universal suffering' or absurdity or pointlessness. I guess, in a similar manner in which happy people tend to feel that because they're doing great, the life itself is a great gift and fuzzy and fun, people who struggle in life sometimes like to view their demise as a necessary consequence of life being a piece of shit. It does relieve them of responsibility to try and change things, but it also cuts them off from a possibility to having maybe experienced something fun in life before they croke.
So if there is some choice available, and I if you can find some motivation within yourself to try and get a kick out of anything in life, as opposed to staying melancholic and gloomy all the time, you should try. And those who tried and failed - I'm sorry, but at least you've tried. I wish that everyone had equal opportunities in life, but we don't, that's just reality. It's up to you if you find it easier to give up and 'embrace the gloom' or try again.
More posts from this category: Doubts and certainty, opinions and truth (video)Entertaining video on antinatalism
Irina |
19-07-2016
"the only difference is ego." - this might be the key, we want to feel more significant than a chicken. Well, we are for our kind, but for the Universe we're ... well, it doesnt even make sense to imply Universe has an attitude or a feeling towards anything. It's just something we have to come to terms with and wait our turn to die, I know that sounded encouraging, right? Actually, we might not wait our turn but take ur turn when the time comes. Hopefully, euthanasia will be lealized in more places by then. Yep, "happy chemicals" like dopamine. :) or serotonine, whatever, both good, exercise helps to get that fix of hormonal happiness ))) And yeah, sleep is uber important!! For me, probably most important of all. "Myth of Sisyphus." never read. Worthy? |
Brian W.
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19-07-2016
Oh and here's an interesting video. It's about a "Pessimism of Strength."
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uu5-E1dVzbc Oh and we won't have kids, I hope, so we're ahead of the game |
Irina |
19-07-2016
Thanks for the video link, good one! |
Brian W.
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20-07-2016
The Myth of Siphius is a must read and it's short and easy
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Brian W.
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21-07-2016
What do you think of a life goal of avoiding as much responsibility as possible? No marriage, kids or pets
It may be my life goal |
Irina |
21-07-2016
Sounds great! Let's get married since we have common life goals then Kidding)) You know, marriage is ... depends on a person and the deal you negotiate between yourselves, it may be not much more responsibility or a beneficial responsibility. I think most marriages collapse because people expect the other person to make them happy and that's so much harder than just to agree who takes the garbage out and does the dishes on what day. I used to be like that when I was 20. And lots of people, seemingly, just never grow out of that, they think it only failed with that previous person but the next one just might be that ideal who gets everything right and is fully compatible and will not disappoint. Bwahahaha! This was found somewhere on Facebook: But pets... Them I love. I've been living without them for a while now though, because I need to be mobile while renting and also I hate when they get sick and die. So I substitute with cute pics and vids of them on Facebook. Sad life. |
Brian W.
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22-07-2016
If Ukraine or America implodes, marriage could definitely be a great idea, we could flee our respective countries
I like pets too, just not my own at the moment. I've emailed you a picture of my parents angelic dog...the love of my life |
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23-07-2016
thank you very much for writing & sharing this. As a fellow thinker, pessimist, nihilist (from Indonesia), I am glad that I've accidentally found your writing here. It's smart, rational, logical, no bullsh*t nor fake-optimism/positivity.
It really helps enlightened me somewhat. |
Irina |
23-07-2016
Thanks, Nick! How's living in Indonesia for a pessimist (atheist I assume?) I guess it's not easy anywhere but you don't have to, like, pretend being religious there like in Pakistan, right? |
raul
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23-07-2016
Dear Irina,
As usual, enlightening post. It was worth waiting for posts like this. Have you thought of writing a book based on this blog or others? What do your female friends think of this blog? Do they read it? Few women write their thoughts like you. Of course you pay the price. First as a woman and then as a thinker. Double"curse". Greetings from Paraguay. RaГєl |
Irina |
23-07-2016
Hi Raul, nice to see you still not forgetting my blog! You assume I even have female friends? I did have good acquantances, but, I mean, if I knew I could share this blog with any of them and be understood I could then see them as friends, somebody to relate to in a lot of ways or in just a few but very important things. But women I tend to meet in real life are almost always optimists, often 'militant optimists' I'd say (like they call some atheists militant when those are too ...aggressive?). Actually, I've always had male friends alongside female friends (I did have them in school and college, was not yet a pessimist myself, so that was easier), and male friends were more often keen on philosophy and politics and were just often more interesting to talk to. But today it's even worse, I mean, the more you read and think the less you're excited in hanging out with someone who doesn't do that so much. Of course, you still like people for their charachter traits, some are especially kind, others are cute and tell funny jokes, still others are very trustworthy and honest, and I appreciate all that, it's just that if you two don't look at the world in at least a similar way and your interests are very different you remain lonely even in each other's company. I think I've read though that it is mostly important for women to be able to open up and have heart talks with their friends, and that what's more important for men in their friendship is their ability to count on their help in bad situations. So for a woman it's a 'she'll hear me out when i need it' and for a man it's more like 'he'll help me out when i need it'. True or false?.. Anyway, do you have many friends that you can relate to? |
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24-07-2016
I agree with you, more or less.
I've peeked trough the curtain and there's no going back now. I know that life is suffering; that "meaning", love, free will and self are nothing but illusions. That there is no point in existing, in fact, that non-existence is preferable to existence. As you know, I'm an antinatalist and a pessimist through and through. What I know about the nature of reality cannot be "unknowned". What I've seen cannot be unseen. And when you have this knowledge, when you are psychology naked, when you're no longer fooled by self-deception, you don't have the rosy tinted glasses and you actually see things for what they are, there comes a time when you ask yourself, what now? I think suicide is a rational solution. But I could never do it. I have a fear of death despite not believing in any sort of after-life, despite knowing that death is simply a release. This fear is probably biologically ingrained in me. A neat little trick by evolution. So, what am I to do? Well, I have to make the best of what I have. That's what I try to do, I try to avoid suffering and maximize pleasure/happiness. And I do that, knowing perfectly well, that it is a futile endeavor, that even the most charmed life has plenty suffering and isn't worth it. Knowing perfectly well that I will fail and fail again and again and again. But there is nothing else that I can do. I don't lie to myself though. At least I try not to. I don't hide the nature of reality to myself, I don't pretend that things are okay or not that bad. Like I said, I just try my best to avoid suffering and maximize pleasure. And of course, "my best" is almost always not enough. The absence of some sort of objective meaning doesn't concern me at all. I never really saw the point of "objective meaning", seems like a leftover from religious thinking. |
Irina |
24-07-2016
The absence of some sort of objective meaning doesn't concern me at all. I never really saw the point of "objective meaning", seems like a leftover from religious thinking. I've heard another point made, that a set objective meaning would actually limit our freedom, because it'd be the purpose we never chose, but that we were born to serve, as slaves, kinda. But on the other hand, meaning, even if not universal, but the one that a person believes exist, is like a pain-killer when they're suffering. Somehow, somewhere, you and your daily struggle is a part of some major plan that you're simply not seeing, your suffering isn't pointless, it matters for something greater than yourself. |
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25-07-2016
Sure, I get that but again; I really don't see how anyone can believe in a sort of master plan unless that person is religious.
Well I guess some non-religious people have their version of a grand plan: the advancement of humanity, the betterment of society for future generations and so forth. I never really had an issue with the lack of objective meaning, maybe because I was never religious in the first place? I always thought that whatever meaning I could get from life would be found in my own subjective experience, not in whatever happened in the past, not in whatever happens in the future, not in some sort of grand scheme of things. That to me goes back to the human centric view of the universe which can only be born out of ignorance of the facts. Sarah Perry's book "Every Cradle is a Grave" has a pretty good section on the illusion of meaning by the way. Worth reading. |
Irina |
25-07-2016
Sure, I get that but again; I really don't see how anyone can believe in a sort of master plan unless that person is religious. Oh sure they can, one of the acquaintances of mine believes we are all part of one consciousness which is greater than all of us and thus in a way it must all be way more meaningful, and yet he is anti-theist. And all those Progress worshippers. On the bones of the people of today to the glorious future of the yet unborn people of tomorrow! Hail progress! Sarah Perry's book "Every Cradle is a Grave" has a pretty good section Good you reminded me, I read about a half of it and then switched to something else. |
That struck me. We humans invent these questions about life purpose.
I agree there is no point to being gloomy or depressed all the time. We hopefully have 40-50 years left of healthy life so we may as well do what we want. Good for you for exercising. It releases "happy chemicals" like dopamine.
You've probably already read the "Myth of Sisyphus." It tries to answer these questions.
So I agree we should exercise, travel, overcome problems, help others and eliminate things that hurt or distress us. Oh and try to sleep 8-10 hours a night. It helps me