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People loved this message, the essence of which can be summed up as "Quit expecting this world to be a fun place, you're here to work, not to play. Your parents have been making sacrifices for you, so you have to accept limitations and deprivations as well. "
"Be thankful for what you have and quit whining about what you don't!" is the common line in comments to the letter.
Of course, if one looks at such advise from a standpoint of 'life is a gift', then it appears to be sound and justified: "Hey kid, your parents worked hard to give you this gift you've got, now show some gratitude and stop being a crybaby". But once you question the whole 'gift' thing, the advise doesn't seem so fare anymore.
But children don't ask to be brought into the world. Parents bring them here on their own initiative and then claim a right to decide which way of life should be satisfactory for the new people they've created. It's convenient to say "be thankful for what you have and quit whining about what you don't" like it's some kind of a deep philosophy, but what it basically means is that one has to accept whatever conditions their parents have brought them into and feel grateful for being alive at all. It's a world of many deprivations and children need to get adjusted to it. Many desires will be left unsatisfied, many dreams will get crushed, many hopes destroyed. It is true, parents better prepare their offsprings for a real world they've brought them too, for the harsh reality, but the righteous tone? No, they have no right for that. They didn't make their child any favor by creating them.
These 'be happy with what you've got' preachings are like slaves with experience teaching younger slaves how to be good slaves. No one owes you a thing, slave, get to work!
No wonder parents love it, some of them want to put it on their fridge, or on the wall of their kid's room... Indeed, how nice it is to hear that you don't owe much to the ones you brought here without their consent.
Really, where does this acceptance of whatever one's got ends? Is it acceptable if your parents work 2 jobs and you hardly ever see them while spending a large portion of your day doing chores and taking care of younger siblings? Is it still acceptable when there's also a sick granma in the house and you have to give her meds and wipe her ass? Is it still acceptable if you are forced to beg for money on the streets or even steal like those gypsy kids? Where does this 'happy with what you've got' ends? ... I suppose, wherever it is convenient for the parents. Parents can selfishly spawn a child into this world and demand that the child accepts whatever situation thay are in. It's like force-feeding somebody and demanding that they like whatever it is you're shoving down their throats.
This self-righteous tone of a parent making a point to their children that they've got to be thankful because there are people who are worse off! Really? This is your f-ing 'gift'? Where's the receit to return it?
As long as we're claiming a right to define for our children the limits for their needs and wants we might as well justify slavery: in both cases somebody other than the person in question is deciding what they should be content with. A slave owner might say it's a 12-hour work day, a bed in a barack and a bowl of soup, and parents might say it's a separate room, no pocket money, adherence to their rules and a number of chores. "As long as you're living in my house you're going to do what I say" - quite a popular ultimatum to throw. But who put them in your house? Was it a holy spirit and a virgin birth? Some god's will? No, it was your will and not your childrens' choice to be born in your house and have you as their parents. You've imposed this life on them and it's now your obligation to make it as pleasant as possible.
I know some will want to object that there are spoiled brats who are never satisfied. They want a better phone, a new gadget, a nicer car. How dare they! Aren't they aware of all the poor children in the world who don't have half as much as they do? They will eventually come to terms with reality and realize this isn't a playground. But as you're complaining how much pain in the ass teenagers are and how they're draining your energy being unappreciative cry-babies, remember that you have done a much bigger harm to them by creating them. In the world where you can guarantee nothing, where you can't protect them from all the risks that exist, where you ultimately don't know what will happen to them - the least you could do is be a little humble.
People don't need anything until they are created, including - life itself - nobody needs life, especially shitty life. So if you're struggling to make ends meet but decide to have a child who you can barely support, much less attempt to satisfy many of their future desires, it's you who should have learnt to be happy with what you had - which was 2 shitty jobs and no child. It is not the child who has to make do with an overworked parent and one set of clothes.
What does an average parent has to offer a child? Most will grow up to be 9 to 5 wage-slaves. Something probably nobody dreams of. To adapt, many people have to give up their dreams and succumb to reality: most of their life will be spent working (whether they like it or not), making money is tough (for the vast majority), most of their desires will remain unfullfilled (so it's better to stop wanting much). Later on many will realize all this struggle - often made worse by health problems, accidents, tragic losses - is only leading them to their inevitable deaths. Like Faina Ranevskaya said, 'Life is a sky-dive: out of a cunt, into the grave'.
So yes, teenagers better learn to adjust to the world their parents have sent them to. They better learn to mow the lawns, paint the woodwork and a ton of other things that might prove useful in making money to support themselves. They better study good or find other ways of making a living in this world, independently of their parents, for their own sake. And sure, wouldn't it be great if the new generation helped fight poverty and wars - instead of contributing to them! Let's hope that they will try and make a world a better place themselves instead of delegating this job to their children, as countless generations have done before them. But above all, let's hope they do not do the harm that was done to them and abstain from creating more human beings who didn't ask to be here.
More posts from this category: The cost of having children: selfish reasonsHappiness as a duty
Irina |
16-03-2013
it turns out, it wasn't written by Bill Gates. haha! reminds me of this: |
RubberDucky
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16-03-2013
I've noticed this thinking even more so since the economy has gotten worse (I live in the U.S.). Some young people who are college educated can't find even entry level jobs in their chosen fields and everyone expects them to be happy with working at McDonald's, flipping burgers. What do the older generation think these kids went college for? Apparently, the idea of standards and expecting a some what decent quality of life, especially after working to get a degree like everyone says you must, has completely gone out the window.
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Zenner
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16-03-2013
Ahhh, you express yourself so well... how I envy you! But my envy gets compensated by the relief I feel seeing my own convictions nakedly laid with no effort on my side... (Next time, I will make an attempt at rhyme) |
Zenner
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16-03-2013
(little correction on the first line)
* so DAMN well (in fact) It occurs to me that there could be a connection between that skill and aversion to lying... It makes a certain sense to me. A river flows more easily if it has known no dam in its course. (no quotation marks, coz it's mine, or some muse's who happened to pass by) |
Irina |
16-03-2013
It occurs to me that there could be a connection between that skill and aversion to lying... i think you're definitely onto something there no quotation marks, coz it's mine brilliant |
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16-03-2013
Even if life was a gift, the idea that people should be thankful and do as they are told to out of gratitude, would still be nonsensical.
No one asked to be born. And non-existent people don't miss out on anything. |
Irina |
19-03-2013
True, athough still, precious gifts sort of oblige the one accepting them to something, quite often... But life isn't a gift, it's an imposition. |
AndrГЎs
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17-03-2013
The monkeys who love that letter are the same discontented monkeys who demand jobs (any job, screw the consequences), who expect endless economic growth, who struggle incessantly to have a child when they learn they are infertile, who become indignant when their child does not want to follow in their footsteps… The list goes on.
The discontent preaching “be content with what you have” to children. Can you say hypocrite? |
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19-03-2013
Yes indeed. That's the point. An imposition can never be a gift.
Reminds me of a quote by a comedian: "Life is like bestiality, it's not for everyone." |
Irina |
19-03-2013
haha. definitely not for everyone! |
Anon
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20-03-2013
Nancy Scheper-Hughes has chronicled the lives of the miserable and unwanted, especially the ones stuck with obligations they never asked for. Her Wikipedia page gives some shocking examples.
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24-03-2013
This Ranevskaya quote, how does it sound in the original Russian? Жизнь это прыжок из пизды в могилу?
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Irina |
24-03-2013
yes «Р–РёР·РЅСЊ — это затяжной прыжок РёР· РїРёР·РґС‹ РІ могилу.» |
From the point of view of the teenagers, I love the definitions under the entry of parents in the Urban Dictionary.