My yesterday's date got me thinking about "romance". He never undersood what I was trying to explain about romance being impossible with a wrong person. "What would be the perfect romantic atmosphere? The place, music, anything else? What would be romantic for you?" I sad I never think about it this way. It's all about whether you like a person with you or not. Whether you are enjoying the evening, having fun, feeling excited, passionate, curious, bonded, impressed or you don't. The place doesn't matter as much. Sure, it must be a decent bar or restaurant where we both feel comfortable (preferably offering water-pipes with apple tobacco ), but whether they have candles or not, whether a violonist will be playing for us there or not - who the hell cares?
What's romance anyway? A deceptive emotion that feels like love when it really isn't? In my mind, romance is what teenage girls feel when they are on a first date and a guy gives them a flower or makes a compliment. They even feel like they're in love with the boy, when in fact they are just in love with love itself.
My yesterday's date reminded me how I hate when a guy thinks he can strike me with that trite romantic bullshit he sells to every girl. That's just so boring.
At first, I want to get to know the person to see if we have anything in common, then, if we both like each other (and I mean like who we really are, not what jokes we can tell and how cool we can look), romance will come naturally. But starting relationships with romance is just too silly. Well, maybe it's not for most people, but for me it is. When a guy is beginning to be all romantic from the first date, and instead of taking me to a cafe where we can talk and get to know each other better he is busy building up a fasad, I understand he only cares about my looks and would have done it for any person who would look like me. Means he does not seach for a soulmate or his soulmate is any beautiful woman who can appreciate his "beautiful romantic soul".
What were the questions he was interested in yesterday? Let's see... What are my favourite flowers, what music do I like, do I like going to the movies, what's my favourite holiday, how old was I when I fell in love the 1st time... Well, what's the freaking point inquiring about that?? You couldn't care less what my hobbies are, what qualities do I like and hate in people, if I'm religious, if I'm political, why did I choose to major in psychology, what's my attitude to love, sex, marriage... - other questions that would describe me as a person. You just wanted to know what flowers I like. Well, from guys like you I don't like any flowers, because you are boring as hell and no flower can fix that.
You can bring me to a fancy restaurant with floor covered in flowers and waterfall in the wall and musicians playing by our table. I'll be impressed with the flowers, the waterfall, the music and maybe a handsome guitar player , but not you.