Boring and meaningful conversations with people

I wish there were more interesting people out there

I know, it always sounds arrogant, but most people are boring to talk to. I mean, we could make one or two conversations fun, especially when we are just getting acquainted, or if we are partying. I usually joke a lot, and in many cases I'm not the only one laughing

When I find someone boring for me, that doesn't mean I always feel judgemental or despise the person, oftentimes there are some traits I find admirable about him or her. It's just that I know we're too different, and the person is not into any of the things I find exciting. I realize other people may find that same person fun.

For example, the conversations about shopping, fashion, celebrities all bore me to death. When I am told something like 'X appeared on the party in the pink dress from Y designer' I truly don't know what am I supposed to do with this incoming data. Where do I put it? I guess I'm missing a folder in my brain named 'celebrity gossip'.

Similarly, when I'm told some useless facts I've never asked about and never intended to, often provoke the same reaction in me. 'Did you know that piano belongs to percussion instruments?' No, and I could swear I could live a happy life without ever knowing that. I don't even play piano, I hardly ever think of piano, so I couldn't care less of its category.

'You know that X married Y and their kids moved to Z to become...?' bluh bluh bluh. No, I am happy not to have this useless information in my brain because I actually use it a lot.)) I guess it's a little like the appartment: you don't really care if it's messy if you only come there at night to crush on the bed, but if you spend quite a bit of time in there, you are more likely to care about it being tidy and cosy.

Ok, again it probably sounds arrogant implying that most people don't use their brains a lot - probably they use them in a different way - I just don't know how else to explain their love for collecting such useless facts only to share them with someone else.

'Fascinating, those watches cost xxxxx dollars!' Oh, yeah, sure. Like I didn't know before that there were expensive goods in this world. Once I've learnt that fact, it stopped being fascinating to me.

And while I'm not saying there's no place in life for such small talk, I'm just honestly confessing it feels extremely boring and exhausting to me in 90% of the time. This is just how I am wired: I prefer to either have a meaningful conversation, or be left alone to think about something or do something I enjoy instead.

What's a meaningful conversation to me? It's either discussing something we both are interested in (categories to the left pretty much describe my interests), or having a deep sincere conversation about ourselves: who we really are, what we love, hate, are affraid of... So many people prefer to appear to be someone else most of the time, they even stop noticing that. I think life is too short to fake it. I enjoy being myself and telling the truth about myself, my thoughts, my feelings. Makes life easier for me - I don't have to worry to remember what I lied last Friday to this or that person. So I always feel relaxed and comfortable. Having to lie to someone is too much work, and I'm lazy and love my freedom, including freedom to be myself and not being ashamed of who I am. Someone doesn't like something about me - it's their problem.

So, meaningful conversations I can hold for hours. When I'm interested I'm both a good listener and a good talker.

When meeting new people, I'm trying to start that meaningful conversation myself. If the person does not respond to any of my initiatives, it means I'm not going to be interested in keeping in touch. I value my time and I don't like being hypocritical: if I don't enjoy something, I'll refuse politely (than - impolitely, if absolutely necessary).

Of course, when it's my close friend or family, I am more or less interested in the simple details of their everyday life: what they ate, what they saw on tv, what they bought the other day. Still will not enjoy engaging in talks like that for a long time (and how to define long - go figure) but I will be able to endure them much longer than I would with others.

So... I guess I like people in small doses. I am happy to get together with my friends once or twice a week. And with them we usually have talks that I find thouroghly pleasant. That's because I only keep people I really like near me. I'm happy such people exist at all and I've been able to find them. But I wish there were more folks like them out there. They are rather a rare breed.