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Wise and witty quotes by Faina Ranevskaya, one of the greatest Soviet Russian actors. Some I had to translate from Russian myself (:applause!:).
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A real man is one who remembers a lady’s birthday, but never knows how old she is. A man who never remembers her birthday, but knows exactly how old she is, - is her husband.
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Loneliness is a house that has a telephone, but the only ringing comes from the alarm-clock.
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Life is a short promenade, just before the eternal sleep.
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A family substitutes everything. So before getting one, think what’s more precious: a family or everything.
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My god, I’m so old I remember people being decent!
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A fairytale is when you marry a beast and it turns out to be a prince. Reality is vice versa.
(A fairytale is when you marry a frog and it turns out to be a princess. Reality is vice versa.)
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Success is the only unforgivable sin against your neighbor.
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Life is a sky-dive: out of a cunt, into the grave.
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Ageing is tedious, but it is the only way to live long.
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I spent all my life swimming in a toilet-bowl, butterfly style.
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If a woman walks with her head down – she has a lover! If a woman walks with her head proudly up – she has a lover! If a woman carries her head straight – she has a lover! And actually, if a woman has a head, she has a lover!
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God created women beautiful – so that men can love them – and stupid – so that they can love men.
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Optimism is a lack of information.
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Old age - it's just mean. I think it is the ignorance of god, when he allows people to survive to old age.
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When a person is ashamed of saying that they do not want to die, they say they want to survive to see what happens next. As if it wasn't for this, they'd immediately lie down in a grave.
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You can't cure Alzheimer's, but you can forget about it.
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I've been smart enough to have lived my life stupidly.
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Talent is like a wart: you either have one, or you don't.
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They all have friends just like themselves, - their friendship is rooted in shopping, they almost live in the malls, they pay visits to each other. Oh how I envy the brainless!
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- I've killed 5 flies today: two males and three females.
- How were you able to figure that out?
- Two of them were sitting on the beer bottle, and three - on the mirror.
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Why are condoms white? Because white visually enlarges.
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- Believe it or not, Faina Georgievna, but the only man who has ever kissed me is my fiance.
- So are you bragging or complaining about it, dear?
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- What women are more faithful: blondes or brunettes?
- Grey-haired.
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When I die, burry me and let my monument read "Died of disgust".
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Dear, do you know what shit is? Well, compared to my life shit - is jam.
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Real-life stories:
Faina Ranevskaya walks about her make-up room totally naked and smokes. A theatre director walks in without knocking and freezes at the door. She says, ‘Am I shocking you with my smoking, dear?’
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Ranevskaya invites someone to visit her and says, ‘The doorbell is not working, so when you come, knock with your feet’. ‘Why feet?’ they ask. She answers, ‘Because you are not going to come empty-handed!’
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Ranevskaya tells a woman that she’s still young and good-looking. The woman answers, ‘I cannot give the same complement to you!’ Ranevskaya replies, ‘You should have followed my suit and lied!’
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While taking a walk in the park with a friend.
Friend: I simply adore nature!
Ranevskaya: After everything it did to you??
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Actors were discussing the 'amoral' behavior of a collegue, accused of being a homosexual: "This is a demoralization of our youth, this is a crime..." Ranevskaya said: "My god, how pitiful is a country where a person can not own their own butt!"
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Irina |
12-01-2012
It's funny, I think every generation feels this way Yeah, life in general always seems better in the times of one's youth when looked back upon from the older age. ... people cheering for letting someone without health insurance die And they've been doing that for quite a while now. If someone was too stupid to invest in his future, let the f*cker croke without medical help. Exactly what Jesus would do. One nation under god. As we become older, it seems, people are more focused on giving happiness to their families than to others outside the family. Sure. But not only happiness, or there would have been no work left for family counsellors :) I see 16-21 year olds staying home on a Friday or Saturday night to play video games alone Reminds me of a joke where a parent asks a psychologist how to wean their teenage kid off the video games. Oh, thats a no-brainer, - said psychologist, - alcohol, cards, girls... |
ExpatChris
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12-01-2012
"Reminds me of a joke where a parent asks a psychologist how to wean their teenage kid off the video games. Oh, thats a no-brainer, - said psychologist, - alcohol, cards, girls..."
Unfortunately, it seems like girls are staying home gaming as well. It seems, people in general, are finding each other less "descent" these days. I think another factor is that life is more complex every year, with more options and more things to identify oneself with. With so many interests, it is more difficult to find other people that one can relate to. I think we're also overstimulated now. This makes normal life seem dull. The reason I found this quote interesting is that I was thinking along these lines this week. My dreams are almost always wonderful and reflect feelings I had more in the past. Not sure if it has to do with merely having more hormones when one is young, or "ignorance is bliss." These days, my life is rather dry. It's good for introspection, philosophical musings and book writing, but not good for the limbic system. I was reading that the mind makes up for adrenaline, either stored up, or shortages, through dreams. I find this interesting that it just doesn't release them in normal activities, but needs to be tricked with the illusion of certain scenarios in an unconscious state. In my dreams, I always have much nicer friends than I see in real life as well as much more interesting experiences. I find this curious. |
iconoclast
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21-05-2012
If the wise man disapproves; bad. If the simpleton applaudes; worse. — Picasso commenting about the lack of response to his first exhibition in Paris.
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iconoclast
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21-05-2012
Regarding this: "Optimism is lack of information."
I rather like this one: A pessimist thinks things cannot get any worse, an optimist knows they can. |
It's funny, I think every generation feels this way
but I wonder how much of it is perpective.
I look at the political debates now in America and hear people cheering for letting someone without health insurance die, or booing a gay soldier and find it mind boggling. I never would have heard something like that in the past.
But, in the past, gays weren't even spoken about. Blacks were killed for trying to vote. These are far worse in comparison. The previous seems worse by today's standards but the past scenario was a far wosrse negative
within a far more negative environment.
I grew up before social networking and reality TV.
Back then you had to have relationships face to face
and if you weren't a nice, good hearted person, you generally lost your friends. Now, those qualities are irrelevant. Being "cool" or "trendy" or whatever makes people want to watch you on TV, looks being contraversial, or even just being an ass may give you ratings. It's very rare that one
gets attention for being nice and having a good
heart these days. It is more often seen as a sign of
weakness by one who is less than adept at making money.
MAybe we are more social when we are young and that gives the illuision that people are more descent. Others were cruel in school, but there were far
more positive experiences that compensated for it,
or so it seemed.
Evoloutionally, we seem to have a defense mechanism that lets us not see the pains of the past as much as the pleasures. Without this, I doubt women would
have a second child. But we also seem to have more fun when young and have few responsibilites and most of our peers are young, free, and childless. As we
become older, it seems, people are more focused on giving happiness to their families than to others outside the family.
But today, there seems to be a new paradigm. I see 16-21 year olds staying home on a Friday or Saturday night to play video games alone, something that was
unheard of when I was that age.