It is really hard to concentrate on anything else today but on what's happening in my country. News, news, news... you're tired of them but you can't stop checking.
Went out with my friends for the first time in many days and all we could talk about was politics and what might await our country in the coming days, months, weeks.
Then we decided to go see the main square. It's in mourning...
the scent of incense in the air, in some places - of smoke of all sorts...
wrecked and burnt vehicles (not many though)
I haven't made any pictures of the most interesting part of the scenery - organized groups of revolutionaries with sticks, baseball bats, axes and god knows what. It's just that you don't feel safe even passing through them, even looking at them, and you don't want to give them an excuse to start talking to you.
Some people are crying, some - taking pictures near barricades, some - shouting 'Glory to Ukraine, Glory to Our Heroes!!!'
The atmosphere there felt grim. It's a zone after war with multiple memorials to those killed in it.
On one hand, I am glad this revolt took place, I can personally relate to the wrath for all the injustice we had to witness and experience in this country during the whole time of it's existence. On the other, I am a pessimist, and see life itself as "full of sound and fury, signifying nothing" with repeated failed attempts to build a fair and prosperous society for all. It's better in some countries than in others but nowhere is it delightful and happy for everyone and it will never be that at the very least due to factors not dependent on man. Anyway, this blog explains my position fully, no need to restate.
The passions in society are stirred to the max. Evident on tv and social networks, i'd almost say it's in the air. Thing is, this burst of energy can result in many things, some of them - quite scary. If we're going to have a come back of the hunting for 'counter-revolutionaries' or 'enemies of the people', like after the Bolshevik revolution, it's going to be a damn regrettable outcome.
Somebody said a wise thing that any revolution is a fight of a minority against the other minority, the majority of a population always stays inert.
After the victory, most try and subscribe to it, express their support and endorsement whether they approved of what was going on or not. And it starts being visible when people start mentioning they've been doing this or that for the revolution in conversations absolutely for no reason, without it being the subject, without being asked. Part of it is out of fear, partly - it's the desire to belong to the majority, and partly - to claim a piece of fame and importance. It is somewhat revolting.
Ukraine wasn't safe before, technically. I've never felt safe in the presense of our riot police, or even the regular one. Today it's like I don't even know if the regular police functions at all. People in civillian clothes though have some block-posts where they stop the cars to see if any ex government officials are there or ... for any other reasons perhaps.
Another thing, is that in such times people who are borderline psychotics get worse and in the same tme - much louder. They feel this is their time to speak their twisted minds. The time of radicals, fanatics and all sorts of crazies. My friend witnessed herself the other day this woman in this public bus refusing to pay for the ticket 'because the revolution has won'.
But that's peaceful insanity. When you see a song on youtube singing 'euromaidan people, i want to see your corpses hanging on the square and your mothers crying over your coffins' receiving cheers and likes... this is f*ing depressing.
When will things calm down - nobody knows. Lots of people are losing it, feeling unsafe and unsure of the future, mortified by the deaths of dozens right in the center of their city, horrified by the realization life is not safe - remember, most function with the rose-tinted glasses on until they are hit personally. I've known I wasn't on a joy-ride before, that god is not watching over me and Universe doesn't care. So my worldview didn't collapse, I didn't have a crisis. But of course I feel uneasiness about the anarchy and instability and what can follow next. I worry about my safety and my income as the economy is crumbling.