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27-08-2012 hehehe... so identified myself!i guess this post won't be a favourite of them philosopher boys, 'cause probably quite a few of them made some awkward attempt of their own at some point in their lives... anyway, silly and light issues are part of life too... and therefore, an interesting subject for any real philosopher, in my opinion you make your accounts so enjoyable too! |
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28-08-2012
not everything on my blog is for them philosopher boys :) but hey, as I said, I'm all for guys trying to pick up girls, awkward or not, at least its some action that might lead to some interesting developments ;) glad you liked the silly lighter post)) |
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29-08-2012 Yeah, let's not stop this fabulous tradition!And, to tell you the truth, I like awkward attempts the best! |
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29-08-2012 "if I was looking for a job I'd definitely jump on an opportunity to be hired by some guy from the street who has the hots for me so he could stalk me every work day"That is something I constantly am bedazzled by, that being men who say the stupidest things to women. It could only register as a desperate attempt in my mind if I ever had the thought and it would surely never pass my lips. While approaching a woman as yourself, in public, with no prompting, is VERY imposing, and I give the credit, I must say, the moment you began to speak I would have been spending more time listening to what came out of your mouth and less time insisting on juvenile nervous responses. I met a Russian woman once, and we got along quite well, and after only 3 days of drinks in the evening, we are friends to this date. The sensibilities of a Russian woman, from at least what I have observed, seems so contrary to the behavior I have been lead to believe is the norm among Russian men. Is this a fair assumption to make, and if it is true, how is it Russian men do not alter their manners and methods with women to make an attempt such as that more effective? Again, I only ask as it is my frame of reference, living in the states and having only the most cursory of knowledge of Russian social norms and interpersonal behaviors between the sexes. FLeghorn (I WILL get an email address to use here soon) |
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29-08-2012
less time insisting on juvenile nervous responses. That particular guy didn't seem nervous or shy. He seemed manipulative and probably didn't think highly of my or maybe women intelligence in general. I know shy guys, and I kind of like them, at least much better than those 'i'm the best thing that could ever happen to you baby' kind of guys. The sensibilities of a Russian woman, from at least what I have observed... Actually, technically, I'm Ukrainian)) Technically, because I don't have a strong feeling of belonging to any nationality, it means nothing to me. I speak Russian in my daily life though, its my native language. But all in all, maybe Ukrainain and Russian women don't differ that much, we have had that common history not so long ago. |
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29-08-2012 So is it that Russian are ,in fact, a bit more inclined to viewing women with less potential respect than they deserve and see them more often in an objectified manner?I have always been told that Eastern European women are sometimes torn between the more sensible and sensitive side of western male perspectives and the more masculine and rough edged males of their places of origin when living abroad. they enjoy the more thoughtful and pensive aspect of western men over their counterparts in their own countries, but they are also disenchanted with the lack of masculinity many men display in their demeanor and character. To me that says there are glaring differences in the two cultures when it comes to men and women and relationships. I, of course, am making a generalization upon people here, but stereotypes do exist for a reason. I noticed you were quick to respond with a clarification that identified this person in particular, so I thinking perhaps you did not agree with this. As for shy men, well, Pandora's Box awaits anyone who is willing to open it I suppose, which of course battles my own stereotype argument above I guess. You can't tell who someone is till they open their mouths ultimately. On a lighter note, do guys that come with those "gift to women" messages ever live up to the expectation they present? You would be a good pwerson to ask as you obviously have had plenty a number of suitors in your life, and before you gained wisdom and knowledge, something tells me were subjected too, and fell for, the musings of a guy like that. What do you think of that angle? Is it always a waste, or do some guys really "bring it" when they talk and portray themselves like that (I guess it makes it obvious that that is not my nature mind you, but it's funny to hear a woman make such a dry and obvious comment on it, and I could not help but wonder if there are any fairy tales out there that actually do happen to women with guys like that)? |
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29-08-2012 Sorry, made reference to Russians again, I should have said Ukrainians, or better, Eastern Europeans. |
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30-08-2012
No problem, I just thought I'd make a correction so as not to mislead the readers. But I know Eastern Europeans are often referred to as 'Russians')) Whatever.)) So is it that Russian are ,in fact, a bit more inclined to viewing women with less potential respect than they deserve and see them more often in an objectified manner? As for the features of men and women in different cultures, I'm always careful with generalizing, you know... I don't think personal accounts, subjective impressions are very reliable. There have got to be a study of attitudes and expectations done to establish culturally shaped stereotypes... I've met men from many countries, and they've all been different. Sometimes I think generalizing and categorizing others makes people feel safer. For some it's more important than for others. For myself - I treat every person as an individual, thinking about stereotypes seems pointless to me. I'll soon find out what this person is like, why should I care about the rest of them, they're not here right now.)) On a lighter note, do guys that come with those "gift to women" messages ever live up to the expectation they present? Hehe, I don't stay long enough with them to find out. During the first and the last date we're having they tend not to, that's all I know Such silly arrogance to me is a sign of an insecure or insensitive personality. This obsession with how many women they're able to 'conquer'. I leave them with their imaginary medals. |
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30-08-2012 you rejected him because you're saving yourself for me, right...?if only that guy knew that a conversation about ending human existence through lack of reproduction would have been a fantastic approach lol... But yeah I've never been a big fan of randomly walking up to girls and trying to start conversations with them, something about it just usually seems so cliche and awkward. Ofcourse I'm a weird dude so the awkward part really isn't a problem, but the cliche part is, it's all another perfect example of how humans role play... "hey, your hair looks nice want to grab a coffee?" "hey I noticed you're eating sushi, I like sushi!"... blaaaaah. I mean it's not always that bad, I guess it depends on the sitution, sometimes the conversation can unfold in a more natural and convenient way, usually not though. Funny story though, I'm sure you have a few more of these blogs up your sleeve. Have you ever been frightened by a guy who approached you? |
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31-08-2012
hehehe. I'm not saving myself for anybody, i'm saving myself from some guys if only that guy knew that a conversation about ending human existence through lack of reproduction would have been a fantastic approach lol lol indeed)) i wish it was a topic most people would have heard about at least. oh well.. sure, cliches are boring, but not fatal. i mean, i don't think theres anything wrong with a man just because he uses a couple of cliche lines when he first meets a girl. but then i usually try to provoke some unusual conversation even at the beginning, why wasting time till we go for a coffee and then i realize i'm stuck with one of those 75% of guys id pay not to have to go out with. frightened? not that i can remember right now...probably not. i mean, if i was approached by a loner in the woods where i used to take a walk during my silly teenage years, i probably would have been,,, or maybe not...teenage, you know.)) |
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16-09-2012 This is a prime anecdotal demonstration of the truth that presumption is rooted in hubris. The proud are blind to the unsubstantiated assumptions that govern their responses and ultimately, the treatment of the world that encompasses them. The material you've broach in your videos is indicative of a shifting paradigm - an alternate perception. You've cogently addressed concepts that I've grappled with for some time. Ideas that are held under disproportionate scrutiny. Even voicing observed benefits from adhering to a child-free lifestyle is met with immediate and immense opposition, absent any regard as to the predicating reasons for that departure. People are uninterested with information presented if it doesn't somehow buttress or accommodate an already established mentality, thus limiting the range and depth of topics deliberated upon. Granted, listening to your views hasn't always been easy, as they are at odds with the fundamental beliefs I was reared to embrace. I have discovered, however, an underlying rationale that resonates. A reasonable and sound response to these imbedded notions that seem to guide individuals and even entire communities. With many, visceral impulses and strong desires are no doubt present, but must these be quelled by logic and a critical approach. The desire to replicate, to conform, to accrue: these must be mitigated. As opposed to succumbing to our instincts, we must instead manage our responses to correlate with the ideal approach, giving thought to our specific situation and not folding to the desires of peer approval. One size does not fit all - a novel concept in our age. |
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16-09-2012
Hmm... do need a guestbook or smth? For feedback about my utube channel and some kind of geeral impressions? Because this post sure is offtopic here and I can't really move it anywhere where it would fit... Thanks for your feedback anyway. I've nothing to disagree. "Granted, listening to your views hasn't always been easy" You can't imagine how uneasy watching my videos makes me feel. So I don't.
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16-09-2012 ahahahaha.... that was a good one!Although I certainly agree with your idea that "visceral impulses and strong desires are no doubt present, but must these be quelled by logic and a critical approach", I'm afraid I can't help having a good laugh at your fine joke, and to Hell with logic and critical approach! |
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19-09-2012 Simply: This gentleman's approach is indicative of a cultural paradigm. Exposure to new insights can serve as a prime antidote. So next time, try recommending a specific title (book, article, etc.) that may encourage new behavior. |
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26-10-2012 Irina, how would you feel if your kid (lets assume you were a pro-lifer for a second) fell within the 75% of men you wouldn't pay to go out with? |
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26-10-2012
I assume this was meant as a reproach? I don't see anything wrong in admitting I find the vast majority of men uninteresting and at least here in Ukraine - unattractive as well. I also limit my friendshp to just a couple of people because most people I meet aren't interesting enough so I don't go out to have a coffee with them, I prefer to stay home and do some creative stuff instead. |
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26-10-2012 Not at all. It was just an honest question. I guess I was trying to show that every human by nature is full of contradictions, even us the antinatalists.By the way, you haven't answered my question but merely commented on how you find majority of men boring and unattractive which is fine of course. So again, before I ask my follow up question, how would you feel if your kid (lets assume you were a pro-lifer for a second) fell within the 75% of men you wouldn't pay to go out with? |
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26-10-2012
I don't think Id feel anything in particular, why? Those 75% of men I don't like are doing fine with other women. Theres nothing contradicting about admitting you dislike something. I can simultaneuosly dislike a person and feel sorry for them. Thats btw how I feel about this hobo thats sitting by the supermarket every day. |
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26-10-2012 Fair enough. That's about the answer I expected.Now a follow-up question and again, I am never reproachful, just curious. How would you feel if someone you rejected killed themselves? Wouldn't you feel to be directly or indirectly responsible for that? Or you would once again feel it was a pity that they couldn't handle it and yet feel sorry for them? I guess I am trying to show that existence by its nature is absolutely unacceptable: even antinatalists who reject everything are still driven by the need/desire and would reject people they themselves would bring suffering to (and would subsequently mention as part of the suffering that could have been prevented by not procreating), people who would not be rejected by our own needs/desires (tastes, etc) if they would't be born to begin with. |
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26-10-2012
How would you feel if someone you rejected killed themselves? Wouldn't you feel to be directly or indirectly responsible for that? It'd fuck up some period of my life most likely. But probably not as bad as most other peoples. I'm a psychologist after all. If someone can't handle living with my rejection - that's not my responsibility, I wasn't designed to make others happy or save them from harm, I have my own needs and life. Incidently, I was being threatened with this once, btw. The guy was trying to get me back by saying he's gonna off himself. Well, I never got back and he's still alive. even antinatalists who reject everything are still driven by the need/desire and would reject people they themselves would bring suffering to (and would subsequently mention as part of the suffering that could have been prevented by not procreating) One can't go thru life without hurting others in one way or the other. But one can argue that this is an unfortunate circumstance and that no one should be put in it in the future. Just what the antinatalists are doing. Here, on this planet, I can only effectively avoid hurting others by not being myself: by dedicating my whole life to caring for other peoples interests and putting my own aside at all times. That's too much to ask. But to quit 'laying eggs' on this planet is quite doable. Not to create the problem in the first place. |
Comments to One guy's attempt at picking me up the other day